Anaconda [HD]

Don't watch alone. Don't eat during this.
After originally seeing the second first, and then borrowing the superbit of this to watch, I'm actually glad I did it that way. That way, I didn't have to compare the sequel to the original if I'd seen it the right way round. Despite reading other reviewers bad reviews, I quite liked it. It dragged a bit in the middle, but the cast were excellent.

With stars like Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson, Jon Voight, Ice Cube and the fabulous Jonathan Hyde, it worked. Some of the plotlines were only hinted at, and could have been expanded if it had been rated a 15 or an 18. (Particularly the 'love' story between J-Lo & Eric - there seemed to be stuff missing from that whole sub-plot.) I loved how Jennifer (as she now wishes to be known) looked in this movie - the hair was naturally curly, and really nice, rather than straightened within an inch of its life. If you compare her here, to now, you'll notice she's become very Hollywood over the last few years. The hair's...

Voigt Carries the Film
When I watched Anaconda I was surprised that it was better than I expected. Part of the reason for that was the performance given by John Voigt.

A film crew is traveling the Amazon in search of the elusive People of the Mist. On the way the rescue Voigt from a stranded ship. Voigt is a snake catcher and claims he knows where the People of the Mist can be found. In reality he is trying to lead them into anaconda territory where he hopes to catch a live specimen and make a fortune. Finally the truth comes out, as do the snakes and it becomes a battle between man and beast as well as between man and man. In the end the survivors prepare to return to their ruined careers when they stumble across the People of the Mist.

John Voigt gave an excellent performance as a Paraguayan snake catcher (Paraguayan so as no one can tell if the accent is right). John shows off a physique that shows why he was chosen to play gigolos and boxers. I did not care too much for the black cameraman...

Lightweight fun with gruesome deaths
The plot is thinner than a Kleenex, J-Lo attempts to play an (unusually gorgeous and well-dressed) aspiring film student who, with her tough-but-lovable assistant Ice Cube, somehow find themselves on a barge along with a few other ditzy Hollywood stereotypical characters, including an over-the-top Englishman, heading up some remarkably bug-free Amazon tributary to film a documentary.

As fate would have it, they happen upon Jon Voight's character (Jon Voight! Is that really him?!), who A) blows the other actors off the screen B) is a genuinely creepy psychotic presence. They "rescue" him from his stranded boat.

There are brief flashes of brilliance in this story, but they are paved over by the horsey acting from all parties excepting Mr. Voight and Mr. Cube. Jon Voight is terrific, and Ice Cube is playing himself. Who cast this mess? J-Lo's famous shape is displayed, nay, showcased, in at least half a dozen scenes. The movie is beautifully photographed, which...

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